Wildy the Journeyman (into_the_wild) wrote,
Wildy the Journeyman

:: A Few Things on My Mind - Part One ::

:: A Few Things on My Mind - Part One ::

The week has passed me quickly. Faster than I could pause
And count the days out loud - One after the other.
There were a few things on my mind. Which I wanted to
Jot down. Being home on a friday evening, with a sick rabbit
In tow, slows things down a bit - I am happy I can write.

I am not particularly a kid person. I have not spent much time
With my godson - In fact I have not seen him for years.
Neither have I met D, my nephew. My sister's son.
For quite a long while already. Notwithstanding,
Due to some matters, I had the chance to spend
The weekend with my sister's family.

Of course, D did not recognize me, which amused me.
I found myself attracted to the little devil, no matter
How pranky he was. After several repeated meet-ups
D gradually got more comfortable with me. Instead of
Running away from me to hide behind his dad, he
Allowed me to carry him.

I carried him, and put him within the reach of a family
Photo which we took several years ago, while D
Was still an infant. D eagerly grabbed the photo.
I whimsically pointed to myself in the photo and asked D
"Who is this?". D was suddenly confused, with this
'Uncle' who was standing within the ranks of
His dad, mom, jiu-jiu and grandma.

And so D got used to me. Rather quickly.
He started passing me packets of soft drinks.
"Drink!" he said. I was initially grateful for his innocent courtesy
Only to realize that he had been censured by his dad
For drinking soft drinks. Hence the easiest way for him
To sneak a sip of the sugared water was to get a stranger
To accept the drink. And he did. The moment I inserted
The straw into the packet he snatched it and ran away.

Well my paternal instinct was evoked. Certainly.
I have always felt awkward when it comes to taking care of kids.
I mean, I could carry a kid and entertain a kid for a bit.
But as a parent, or a godparent, or an uncle, I feel rather helpless.
What was this obligation, or moral duty that I was supposed to feel?
Am I supposed to visit and care for a kid because I am a kin?
I am sure that the love emanates naturally. But why do I not feel it? 
Perhaps I've never experienced it, hence unable to pass it on?

Maybe we all are, truly creatures moulded by
Our environment, and our past experiences? But the past
Should never truly confine us, as we explore and venture
Beyond our boundaries in this journey of self-discovery.
While I doubt I will be a father in the near or absolute future.
Maybe I'll get a cat.

Tags: contemplation

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