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Dreams are what you wake up from.

14 years of Livejournalling, and hopefully, more to come.

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:: English ::

:: English ::

Lets face it, English is a stupid language.

There is no egg in the eggplant.

No ham in the hamburger.

And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.


English muffins were not invented in England.

French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted.

But if we examine its paradoxes--


We find that Quicksand takes you down slowly.

Boxing rings are square.

And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing. I

f the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?

If the teacher taught, Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables What does a humanitarian eat!?


Why do people recite at a play Yet play at a recital?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy

Of a language where a house can burn up as It burns down

And you fill in a form By filling it out

And a bell is only heard once it goes!


English was invented by people, not computers

And it reflects the creativity of the human race

(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why: When the stars are out they are visible

But when the lights are out they are invisible

And why it is that when I wind up my watch it starts

but when I wind up this poem it ends?


-- Anonymous --

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i thoroughly enjoyed this poem!

Try mastering Chinese. It doesn't have all these flaws that the English language have. Though it's a difficult one. English be gone!

This looks familiar. Haha reminds me of "English is a Crazy Language" by Richard Lederer. But it just might as well be adapted from him. A poem by Lederer:

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim.

More of his jab at the English language at:

Nice one. My english was never good enough to ponder these...

Really nice read. Thanks for the sharing.

This is amusing and actually pretty enlightening to read! LOL

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