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Dreams are what you wake up from.

14 years of Livejournalling, and hopefully, more to come.

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:: Friendship ::

:: Friendship ::


I think many people are awkward when it comes to

Dealing with gratitude.

When I tell them, “Thank u 4 being a Fren"

Some felt it cheesy, while others

Felt they didn’t contribute much to our ‘friendship’

And do not deserve it.

But what is friendship and the notion of being a friend?

A check with Wikipedia gave this result:

Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism.

To me, a friend is someone that fits this description.

With the limited number of hours a day, most of us

Can only afford time to the treasured few pals, and meetings with other friends can only

Manifest in that occasional lunch meetings or birthday gatherings. That nonetheless,

Is still a friend, and there is no ‘frequency of encounters’ that should dictate what

Makes a friend. Or not.

As long as there is a general sense of well being, and good intentions for each other,

You are a friend to me, and I thank you for that.

In fact, for those that have given me support and encouragement,

Online or offline, for Work or for Play, 5Degrees or otherwise,

I thank you too, and may our friendship go a long way!


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I don't see the need to have a fixed and uptight definition of "friends", (that is, if you're not my "enemy", which is rare, then you're most likely my "friend")...

And then, of course, there are the "Best Friends Forever"...

The rest could just simply be under the "Fans" category...

How valuable a friendship is to me, depends on how much energy both parties are willing to put into the relationship...

If it becomes an obviously one-sided affair, then I won't bother too much about it. But if you're keen to go on further, then you'll definitely find me there along the way...

Anyway, thanks again for the invitation, my friend... :)

a true friend may not be the person that you get to see often...he is usually the one that you will go towards if you happen to meet him on the streets instead of dodge...that subconscious judgement often tells me who the person is..to me.

thanks you for being a friend. i still feel like we've been meeting recently. : )

haha. thanks for your friendship! =p

ermm.. certainly, the frequency of meetings may not necessarily dictate what makes a friend. But the frequency of meetings equals the frequency of interaction. And doesn't the frequency of interactions dictate a friend? If there is little interaction, how much understanding is there? And if little understanding earns one the term "friend", then what difference can a friend be from an aquaintance? I am sorry but it is in my opinion that your definition of friendship cheapens the definition. But of course, i am no judge of your life. if you truly feel these people whom you have little to no face-to-face interaction with, have true understanding of you, then i am glad for you :)

Good example... Although we have only ever met 3 or 4 times, Titancross, and only knew you more through Runecircle and your past blog entries, so I will probably fall under your category of "Acquaintance"...

But I still consider you a friend (or someone I can be friends with) and not just an acquaintance. And I don't see that as a cheapening of the definition of "Friendship" at all. Semantics much? :)

semantics and perspectives.

ultimately it could be a general sense of well-being from within?
i don't meet Nigel regularly, even after he moved to Singapore, but he's a dear friend of mine and I'll go to great lengths for him. similarly, i don't meet Merman much at all, but i do read his postings and see his photos, and know him from this very conduit. i may not know him completely, but for what i know i deem him a friend.

the list goes on. as humans we live and thrive by the few and many connections we have with others, and the adage "No Man is an Island" can attest to that. i like to see it as a journey, that i take with others, (hence the term "journeyman"). for certain journeys, long or short, i meet fellow travelers, and we will part our ways at a particular crossroad, but that doesn't mean we will never meet again.

In fact, I met Ed many years ago in Tokyo, and we had many great moments of sharing together; he enlightened me on many aspects of astrology, astronomy and philosophy - I can always remember a particular moment: sitting behind him in a bicycle as he cycled down a row of sakura trees one cold night, amidst the falling pink petals.

Now Ed is working in Singapore. We are in touch, and we have met for a meal or two. He has popped by for a few 5Degrees sessions. We don't meet as much as we should but we are in touch, and he's coming tomorrow.

And for that I'm happy.

*rambling as usual without self-vetting, heh*

Merman, maybe it's this:

For some people, friendship is a state of mind.

For others, it's a natural evolution of acquaintance-er-ship.

I have been dicked over by "friends" and so I subscribe to a stricter code of "friendship". I do not disagree or with your or Wildy's definition of friendship, but I don't think you're wrong; so, let's not call my definition "uptight" if that's okay. I find that condescending, tad. For me, I think the state of friendship has to be natural--no time spent together means the friendship fades for me--it's okay, life goes on. However, I do take labels seriously -- boyfriend, friend, enemy, acquaintance, colleague. And that system works for me.

It *is* about semantics, but it also involves real emotional investment though. So you may scoff at it, but in life we negotiate with semantics all the time. Difference between a ghost or a spirit--I don't care, but it matters to you, for example. I take friendships seriously, and so I label it carefully. There is no wrong in that.

Do I wish I could just be friends with everyone on the planet? Of course. But my being strict about "friendship" is just as normal as people who are strict with "dating" or "boyfriend", and just as normal as those who are casual with such terms.

Point is, as long as both parties are mutually aware and on the same page, it's all good. :)

Typo: I do not agree with you or Wildy's*

Yes, we just have different perspectives of the term. I regard the term involving more mutual reciprocation and affection, factors which can only be earned over time with effort and not occasional casual exchanges. It is because i value the term fiercely and prefer not to drop it loosely. But of course, you are welcome to the more casual usage of the term, it's one of those terms that can be personal in definition. That's why i say it is only my opinion :)

agreed! so are you a friend or a stranger?


心若知道灵犀的方向,哪怕不能够朝夕相伴? =)


Just in case i am not online at 16th: Happy Birthday.

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