Log in

No account? Create an account


Dreams are what you wake up from.

14 years of Livejournalling, and hopefully, more to come.

Previous Entry Share Next Entry

:: Tribes ::

:: Tribes ::

There are no tombstones in Orochi territory.
Slain warriors were buried with a tree sapling,
So they would become a part of the forest after death.

eaststar bought me dinner a few nights ago, and at PS Cafe we had yet another very gratifying tete-a-tete.
On the topic of people: people around our circle, people in our circle and people out of our circle.
The funny fact is that the people remain static most of the time, but it is the circle that shifts.
There are friends that are affiliated by common interests; whether they are fellow colleagues or
Drinking buddies, or wine aficionados, there is that thin commonality that gels them.
Nevertheless, in my humble opinion, true lasting friendships are then forged when
Opportunities are presented to two or more individuals, either by a physical or situational link, and then
Perspectives, philosophies and values are exchanged and accepted, beyond skin-deep,
With the right mix of chemicals, of course. Strangely, friends like these last a long long time.
I was fortunate to have these friends that were there in my darkest hour; friends that would do
Anything, really anything, and I genuinely feel it. Even if there are almost five-hundred-and-growing facebook friends
On the list; how many can I affectionately hold on dearly to, as eaststar pertinently termed as my "tribe"?
Amusingly, they are not the work colleagues; they are not the drink-drank-drunk types; but those that care
And bother to help with the cleaning up after the party is over, when everyone's scrambling for the exit.
That is why there are no biggie birthday party this year - that's passe to me.
It has been a great year of learning, and I have learned to be more mindful, more humble, and more grateful
To my tribe, and that few more, that bothered, even though I haven't been fair in my time with them.
I am sorry.

I think i get more 'lor sor' as the year comes close to a close.
And I didn't even start on the actual topic of my dinner with eaststar...
I'm just retro-introspective.
eaststar, your fault. =P

  • 1
(Deleted comment)


perhaps it is becos the concept of circle revolves around the `me'? :) with a center, there can only be rings around this center point that radiate outwards... funny thing is that these rings/circles at times overlap :)


Because we have only twenty four hours a day. More friends equals less time for each.
ten friends. Hundred friends. Thousand friends. Ponder.

into the wild

funny thing - woke up this morning and saw an article titled `into the wild' in `today' and thought of you. Not long after, you text me. wonder if it is a common thing to get more lor sor with time (read - `age'),... my blog goes on for pages ;)


(Deleted comment)
Think There're a difference between being emo and being introspective and adhei thankful. bleah.

on shifting circles.... the lost of a friendship is rarely compensated by new ones. i feel. a part of my life is buried with that shifting sand.

people are static, and tribes don't really disappear. they mutate, and they'll always be part of us.

Re: circles in the sand

What do you make of the mutation?

I believe everyone has their own views of friendship. I believe for a friendship to work out right, it has to be both ways - give and take. I suffered from a past friendship with a friend who didn't seem to cherish the relationship, who gave off the impression that he was using me (have you ever help a friend carry 3 big gifts for a girl just because he didn't want his mother to know he was spending tons on this girl, and to carry it out all the way for him to present it to the girl?)

Even though I'm more "sociable" nowadays, in the way I mix around with people, at the end of the day, when I think back, some of these friends were only there for the good times. None of them existed when I was down and out, and needed the attention to talk to. In the end, it's the friends that I had ran dry of topics with (I'm not that much a talker kinda person) that are the real friends, not those that I put on a front with.

if there's a birthday party this yr, sure it'll be highly featured in the tatler! :P

Haha, OK I plead guilty. But that was a good dinner -- conversation, cuisine and company. :-)

But introspection is often a good thing, and something that is often in short supply. I am often astonished at how so many guys out there can be so self-obsessed (gyms, supplements, tight tee shirts to show it all off etc) and yet so lacking in self-awareness. So introspection and self realization are all too rare and to be encouraged!

You are right that our appreciation for the few who truly love us is often best shown in times of trial and tribulation, when the ones who danced with us when times were good disappear when the music stops, and we see who are the few who will stand with us.

I've been very blessed also to have a few true friends who are always there for me. I know they share not only my successes and glories but also my dark moments and moods. Unlike others, they're not there to gain anything from me but because they genuinely care about me. It's that selflessness that makes a true friendship, and which is all too rare.

But I often remind myself to never take those few for granted, because like all relationships, friendships need to be fed and nurtured. But I have learned that unlike those who hang around with us because they want something (e.g. attention, status, sex, publicity in a magazine etc), our real friends don't need much really, because they have no agenda except our well-being and to share our company. So we don't need to wonder what we need to do to keep them because their love is unconditional. If well-tended, friendships grow stronger over the years and become hardy enough to withstand even periods of neglect.

And if we are really lucky, as the years pass, they become family, one that we built, not just one that we are born into, and that's pretty wonderful.


insightful sharing. acquaintances more apt for the many circles within the circle.

Thank you. :-)

Willie's musings tend to bring out the musings from me too.

with a pinch of salt sometimes


  • 1