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Dreams are what you wake up from.

14 years of Livejournalling, and hopefully, more to come.

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:: All It Took Was a Holler ::

:: All It Took Was a Holler ::

Lately I have not been logging onto my MSN Messenger.
So, when I logged onto MSN, I received a holler from an old friend, Mr darkseed.
"Do you know they are making a movie titled Into The Wild?" he enquired.
"I do."
"In fact, in case you didn't know," I added, "My lj name was inspired by the same title, from that fascinating book."
"I remember you tell me about it a long time ago," he replied.
I did a quick recall.
It has been almost seven years since I started penning down entries on livejournal.
It has been almost fourteen years since I read Joe Krauker's Into the Wild as well as Into Thin Air.
It has been almost nine years since I made a trip to Juneau, and sailed up Tracy's Arm with M.
After that harrowing ruptured appendicitis episode.
The years keep adding up.
I thought of darkseed, that I've known him for, seven, eight years?
And how little we keep in touch
Although we're kept updated of each others' lives thru proxies, and proxies of proxies.
And through LJ, of course.
It was just a month ago when I finally met up with another old pal, pyrosx.
He finally bought me dinner, after a long wait from both sides.
I bought him dinner almost two years ago.
The years keep adding up.
As new associates join the inner circle while the old ones fade into oblivion,
How does one hold onto one's ties in an growing circle of relationships?
I suppose, time is still the key.
Friends, who are friends, will be able to withstand the test of time.
And with time, one grows to learn too, the differences between friends, and better friends.
There are friends. And then, there are friends.
"We should all meet up, and you should treat me to the ITW movie when it shows," he taunted.
"Sure, why not!" I laughed.
"And we'll bring our Wii over to your side one of these weekends!" he suggested.
Sounds like a promising weekend.


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i noticed you have a really soulful and artistic nature. you need to nurture that.

why do you say that?


the same thing that i said that you have a keen ear, and that itself is a gift in music! and you should explore and sing! : p

it's not so much what you say but the way you say what you say.

I already force old man to set the date already, so I wasn't just idle talking hor

U better check wth old man and keep yourself free that day else I will be very mad :P

Yes I am threating u and old man.

I just wanna meet up some friends before it hits Chirstmas.

The older I get the less time I have sometimes I also wondering what the hell is happening.

no wolverine in this picture ah? ;P

He's standing on the floor, trying to reach the phones....

well.. you have friends you hang out with, friends you sometimes hang out with, and friends you only talk about hanging out with, and friends you pretend to want to hang out with.

it's a spectrum.

i always feel that it's a mutual thing. if a friend isn't gonna put in 100% (i recently kena that), then i shelve it until our paths cross again. as for touching base once in a while, i consider that a little bit too token to mean anything. in spite of that opinion, however, i concede that we simply don't have the time for all our friends.

then again, we make time for the ones that matter. i just try not to lead anyone on, in terms of friendship, even.

so true.
i agree with eaststar's comment about chemistry.
i think chemistry is the most important factor; with chemistry, everything falls into place.

You got me thinking. To me, close friends are the replacement for the nuclear family I won't have, and they are important.

Friendships, like other relationships, take effort and focus, and can fade away if neglected. Practically, it's simply not possible to be close with many of the people we know so we pick whom we want to spend more of our precious time with. But the feelings aren't always mutual, as sometimes the people we want to be close to don't view us the same way, and vice versa. We can try but ultimately we need to accept and move on.

At other times, despite both sides wanting to build up the friendship, the detritus of daily life clog up the channels and we never get really started with people we could have had great friendships with, or we lose touch with those we had great beginnings with. We can't assume that we can always pick up where we left off with them, because the more time passes, the further apart we drift and the harder it can be to reach out and reconnect.

And sometimes we give up on people we want to be closer to because of the fear of rejection, because of our insecurities and our imaginings of how they would react to us, or what we think we know about them. And that's a great pity because we give up before we give it a chance, and who knows what we lose.

I've lost touch with too many wonderful people over the years, because I was too busy, too distracted with other matters, other people and other priorities, and I feel sad when I think of the lost friendships. As I get older, I see more clearly the briefness of our days and how quickly time passes, and realise that our friendships are important and that they matter, more than we think while we're young.

And I see how we need to make the effort to stay connected with the people we care about, or make a start with those with promise and potential, even when it's inconvenient, even when we're tired, even when we're busy, because in the end, few things are more important than real friendships, and they're worth it.


how apt.
hence my idea of putting a photo about phone booths - our friends are just a phone call away. sometimes all it takes is just the effort (and /or courage) to pick up the phone and call. =)

loved your reply, good man.

yep, like all relationships, friendships takes effort.

Well sometimes friendship takes time and effort. You could not expect a friend to standby you forever when there isn't any effort made and those will end up to be friends who would slowly fade away.Its not that they are not real friend but just ppl who decided to stop waiting.

very true.
hence the statement about friends who'll be there and friend's that'll go, founded on the idea of demand and supply. friends that one commit to will remain and friends that do not will go. then again, there are friends that will remain no matter what happen, and those that will go no matter how much effort you commit to the friendship.

Two points:

1) The concept of demand and supply. A item which is in demand now might not have the value in the future. You cannot expect someone to be there waiting for that one day to be able to get hold of the goods that might be in demand now.Just be sure that those who mange to get hold of some of those supply have the potential to be long time investor.

2)With reference to your favourite source wikipedia.

Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more humans. This article focuses on the notion specific to interpersonal relationships. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them. Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating on a consistent basis:

the tendency to desire what is best for the other,
sympathy and empathy,
honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart
mutual understanding.

"Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism."- this is what u refer as committment guess if time and effort has nevr been invested would u actually still expect to others to should commitment?

Just my point of view :P

it takes two hands to clap, and a space to clap

agree to everything that has been said. and for us, friends ARE our family, however transient they may be. and my reflections is that yup it is only a call away. and this line applies to both sides... two hands are needed to clap.

and of cos, the space to clap... for without the space (social space, physical, real, social space), the clapping just cannot be complete and perhaps not sustainable. and i am saying this cos i find myself wanting but lacking a complete space... esp the space to be myself, the space where everyone can be free, can interact freely, the space to speak my mind, the space to be natural...

w, u know what i mean.

i look forward to that day.

and this, is my day-to-day dilemma...


Re: it takes two hands to clap, and a space to clap

Agree with you on the the space to clap concept. Everyone of us needs the space to be ourself. The space to do things that we wanted to do. But could we ever really have the space to do things that freely? The freedom to able to do things that freely might also means for us to be hurting people who we care about.Friends are also no doubt plays a vital part in our life. Sometimes i see my friends more than ever i see my family. If you can click with your friend your space to be yourself is equal to time spent with your friends. If u pretend to be someone u r not when u r with your friend..prehapes thats another question to ponder about.

Am i making sense?

Re: it takes two hands to clap, and a space to clap

what u said made a lot of sense and i totally agree with u - esp abt the part on not hurting people we care abt. for me, my take is that there is a need to balance these two areas :)

as i said, i do consider my situation to be a bit different. the space is there but i cannot partake in sharing this physical space for watever reasons. so, there is a broader context to what i have written.

Re: it takes two hands to clap, and a space to clap

Well i do not really know u that well therefor not in a position to comment futher. Thus the key is always maintaining a balance but how often in life could we ever find a balance?

Re: it takes two hands to clap, and a space to clap

well, maintaining that delicate balance, is not easy, definitely.
but then again, in our daily course of living, we do still make the decisions that we make (and not making a decision, itself, is still a decision) and we accept the consequences of our decisions.

living a life itself becomes a balance.

and the rest of the world will adjust accordingly.

Re: it takes two hands to clap, and a space to clap

I agree to what u have said "accept the consequences of our decisions". Find the balance in our lives thats very ZEN style. Well i would say that its and ideaist way to think about things. no doubt we all may be working toward that point. But i guess the balance is all depends on yourself on how u value the things in life to find that balance.

For example i work more than 12 hours a day...am i living a balance life?

Somethings when finding that balance u might hurt ppl and piss people off. Eg my good friend in aus also believe in ZEN way. He would lead the weekend as it is not wanting to plan anything and go with the flow. asking him out for dinner and make appoint for it its almost impossible. At times it piss me off. But least the good thing is that he would always give me a call and check up on how i have been as time passes..

In Conclusion:

Finding that balance in life is all about the perception on how u weight things.

Re: it takes two hands to clap, and a space to clap

who's this, by the way?

oh, I've always wondered if your LJ was inspired by the book/movie's name. From synopsis and random snippets, I gather that the movie's gonna be pretty interesting. I'm thinking of getting the book to read myself, one day. Is it really recommended? Do tell some interesting points in the book that touched your lfe. =p

p/s: ALL relationships require maintenance. Depending on character types, some need more than others. The secret is to really know/understand people. And that, requires time which leads to maintenance. So there you go - one of life's natural (or vicious) cycles. haha.

i sure think it is a good read.
some idolize MacCandless (the protagonist of the book) as a free spirit,
some think he's a stupid reckless fool who didn't appreciate what his parents did,
and I'll wait for you to make your impression and tell me if you were 'moved' by any particular points in the book.

well, for me, i went to alaska.

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