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Dreams are what you wake up from.

14 years of Livejournalling, and hopefully, more to come.

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:: Closure ::

I want to write something about closure
After a good talk with a friend.

If you were happily attached for, say, seven years,
Then, because of parental objections,
You eventually decided to play martyr and
Leave the relationship, sacrificing what
You've built up over the years for
A mother's love.
If she could love her child enough to
Come to beg you to go, should you not go?
I wonder.

Then you lost touch as you moved on with life.
Seven years later, while browsing in a library
You chanced upon your past love,
Married, and probably living happily ever after.
Passed you a namecard:
"Let's keep in touch."

You smiled and darted onto something like the weather.
Looked for your friends, hurriedly waved bye and moved on.
You looked at the card when you get home:
Would you call?

Was there closure seven years ago, or
Is this the closure?
Or maybe there was never a closure; the memories
Will linger on, in the shadows of the
Recesses of the heart?

never open pandora's box. some things u shld just not know.

what pandora's box?
you mean there's something you'd rather not confront?



No, don't call. I think its for the better :)

why better?
better than what?

i don't think we stop loving someone just because we moved on. even more so for a decision like this. you moved on unwillingly willingly.
and your love must be immensely great for you to do something like that for him: letting go.

but if u want to be technical, it's closed because you moved on.

but it isn't closed because you didn't stop loving. or if you really wish to have your way, then i'll say, there're closure on certain levels. just enough, so that one's able to go on with his life. it's really how you wish to perceive it. make the best out of your decision, no?

for me, i'll see it as, as long as you didn't stop loving, then nothing's closed. =)

Life, is beautiful.

"Then you lost touch as you moved on with life. "

closure is denoted by the act of moving on (not physically, per se). so i'd say yep, the closure was seven years ago. however, i'm guessing this is what you're asking here: is closure also an absolute end of all feelings and emotions associated with a particular event?

of course not. a closure isn't a "reset" button or an "end program" button. chapter 4 doesn't deny chapter 3, and chapter 3, the same with 2, and so on.

memories are fine. trying to recreate history is a bad idea, however. nostalgia is dangerous sentiment. human connections is one of those things best left to trained scientists to recreate in labs. i hope this person, if not fictitious, does not make the call expecting anything of the sort.

one of the surest ways to unhappiness is though a little activity we humans call "comparison".

this line caught my attention: memories are fine. trying to recreate history is a bad idea.

*floating floating...*

I probably might not call..would you?

i think i would.
i don't want to live in a world of 'what-if's, as much as i try.

I think closure for different people, means different things and happens at different times. While for the protangonist, closure might have been 7 years ago, this chance meeting might mean closure for the other person.

Closure for me, would mean accepting the reasons and circumstances, giving up all the what-ifs and could-have-beens and while being able to move on, still able to look back with fond memories.

so would "you" keep in touch?

i think i will keep in touch. why refrain?
why live in a world of 'what if's? as long as i am not living in the past; as long as i am able to deal with whatever that is thrown onto my face, and maybe give a guffaw and take it in good stride, what matters? at least i know i've tried. =)

would you?

I think it is a severe human failing of ours to be trapped into contemplating the "what if"s and "what could have been"s. If we close the door, we close the door, and we should move on. Sure, I am guilty of this myself.

If one thought that it was better for one's then bf to get married, then the same reasons will remain. No use opening Pandora's Box by contacting him. Sure, one probably still loves him, and vice versa. However, one should have taken that into account in the initial assessment, not just his mother's begging.

If you love somebody, set them free. And never look back...


does it mean that by setting someone free, one cannot keep in contact?
somehow, to me, by not keeping in contact, one's running away from one's issues.

what do you think?

By then, I guess he would be blissfully settled down.
Depends really.

But memories are memories are memories.

are memories are memories.
so apt.

Never believe in closure though I wish I would. But I knew in the end I am just trying to close something I don't need to.


I think Miss Piggy is so lovingly emotional. =)

the word 'closure' is so over-rated sometimes.

Closure (computer science), an abstraction binding a function to its scope
Closure (mathematics), the smallest object that both includes the object as a subset and possesses some given property
Closure (topology), the set of all points intuitively "close to" a given set
Closure (philosophy), a philosophical description of the world put forward by Hilary Lawson
Closure (psychology), the state of experiencing an emotional conclusion to a difficult life event
Cloture, a motion in parliamentary procedure to bring debate to a quick end
Law of Closure, a principle in Gestalt psychology

there will never be a closure... one is constantly reminded of the person whom you have spent a certain amount of time with...

Hmmm... I don't know if I would call, but I agree with what ssssshh said "If you love somebody, set them free. And never look back..."

Gaining closure is not something easily done, for me, one of my closures took more than two years...

I've said this before about exes
- It's like being war veterans, the relevance has ended, but the significance is forever.

Recognizing that, so yes closure isn't an ending, it could be the beginning of something new for both or for one. memories will always stay and while they may have the potential of holding you back from the future, they are not the future. Closure is.