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Dreams are what you wake up from.

14 years of Livejournalling, and hopefully, more to come.

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:: To Thine Own Self Be True ::

I bought Mitch Albom's books at a bookshop a couple of days ago.
I waited for the cashier to giftwrap the books.
My eyes caught sight a stack of diaries, piled near the entrance.
The diary was nicely plain and simple without embellishments.
I picked one up and flipped it open.
It was in the day-to-a-page format.
I was tempted to get it.
I was tempted to start diarying again.
I remember my diarying in my secondary school days.
I used to use management diaries provided by mother's insurance agents.
I realised that one writes more when one's depressed.
For happy days and happiness need no outlet.
The habit persisted through varsity.
Only to end with the start of livejournal.
It was almost exactly this time four years ago.
A thousand and sixty two entries later, I wonder.
I wonder what I could have journalled that I did not.

Let me digress.
When I first started journalling, I mentioned a book by John Powell.
It is titled "Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am?".
So why am I afraid to tell you who I am?
For if I told you who I am, would you still accept me for what I represent?
I am glad that I have faced my inner monsters and accept myself.
I do not fear.
Yet I feel that my life should never be an open book.
Inviting vandalisms from the casual passer-bys.
And of course, repercussions from Big Bro.
How whole is a virtual being, which may be moulded to what one desires?
How meaningful is it to write to please the masses for popularity.
And lose oneself in the process?

May as well just post a delectable picture; easier.

So why the cryptic writings, one may ask?
Perhaps I think in the form of images.
The power of the message lies in the image, methinks.
Then again, maybe I am just inarticulate.
Maybe I prefer to write for those who bother to decipher.
If it means nothing to you, it is meant to be.
If it means something to you, it is meant to be.
Nevertheless, my treasured moments are always penned down in the open
And they have the power to trigger
A rush of emotions to my heart.

So will I diary again?
I am not sure.
I may not recount each day's activities in great detail.
Then I will leave a broken twig for each significant moment.
For me to trace my journey back in time.

I will write still, for an audience, definitely,
But more importantly, I will write
For myself,
Or I may never walk this way again.

So chim... *blurs....*

eat more hamachis and you'll figure it out.


as long as you write, i'll read. :)

Yeah, it's different. I write more in my journal than post entries here. I somewhat treasure the literal writings more. More true to self.

literal writings in which sense?

Out of topic. Hope you win the awards at the New Year Eve party...:-)))

Many thoughts cross my mind throughout the day sometimes. However, when I try to pen it down at night, I've lost the spontaniety of the moment and it ends up sounding too fake and polished. Maybe you should start a diary again for your private moments. :)

Which bookshop? Maybe I should pick one up too ... missed writing like when I was travelling ... what's for the public eye is different from what is for one self.

so true !

i journal everyday when i'm travelling, and sometimes on lj too, but it never quite goes public... i guess i havent quite come to being a public person yet...

I think writing brings a more personal touch however it takes times and discipline to keep at it...usually for me it will be a few pages and then haha empty for the whole year...

See you at the NYE party...

This entry reveals more about you and I'm beginning to see a glimmer of light seeping through. And I can't decide if your situation is a blessing or a curse. Be careful protection does not become a means to your end and the relevant relationships around you.

I hope you will manage to find more trust in other vessels around you that have their arms and ears open.

Happy New Year! See ya later :-)

(Deleted comment)
Thanks for nudging me to journalling.
I used to live each day as it passed. Now I guess I can go back n remember.

Yes, there's the need to be aware of unintentional consequences of our posts, but that's when we use the screens.
U've got pretty much free passage thru my entries.
All the best for 2006 n beyond. May ur steps be meaningful n filled with joy.


All the best as well!

that's why mine is friends only...

Well it has been a long time since u wrote this "type" of entry...least thats what i feel.

Write what you want or may ....
Only you will understand what you r writing for ....

It is said that writing is *always* for others for it meant to be re-read again. The future-you reading it would count as an "other".

with that said, i do not see the point of illusions or mystery; for true freedom and release comes only with the spirit of forthcomingness. confess or digress, impress or address, it's your call. and your language.

tsk. koey, you should write. ok, i know you won't but this is what i feel.

you really have a way of thinking which i admire.

of course, at the time other than you get pissed and asked ppl to fxxx off. =)

u paint images wif words...
i paint words wif images...

its all the same...words creates visionaries...we imagine and form scenerios from words...in more ways than one, its relativity..we live by that rule, we die by that rule...


Heart warming as I read this entry.

Thanks for giving a piece of yourself, slowly :)