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Dreams are what you wake up from.

14 years of Livejournalling, and hopefully, more to come.

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:: Closure ::

I must extend my thanks to all that have provided useful advice.
It may have the power to make a difference.
I have carefully printed out all the comments, and together with eviltaru's letter I will pass it to B.
All I hope is that this collected wisdom may point B to the right path.
To me, the right path is the insight where one's entire lifetime unfolds in one's eyes.
And while I may have used both the carrot and the stick to open his eyes, I have to have the patience to give him time to open his eyes.

Many times, a dialogue yields very little to what lurks beneath the surface, and the readers are obliged to make inferences from the recollected stanza.
What is the best solution? Carrot or Stick or more?
To mould him into what we think is the best for him may not be fair, as we are no wiser ourselves, as much as we want to conform to the standards of the society I commonly term "The Matrix".
Ultimately, happiness as a concept transcends beyond our five senses.
Let me close this up with our SMS dialogue

Free to meet up tomorrow for dinner? I've got some advice my friends want to pass to you. Quite a few concerned friends who are all hoping you'll not make a mistake.

Na... thanks anyway... I still decide to walk this route I choose... I know that I am a stubborn person.. I will prove that I will reach de college I want to ... FAFA... Thanks for ur concern and effort.

Let me show you what my friends have written can? 20 pages. They are concerned, and we've all been 16 years old before and know what you feel now. Not too late.

It is too late already... Sorry... and it is not easy to understand my circumstances... everybody lead a different life...

At least share with me and let me know why? Then I'll leave you alone. I still want to pass you the 21 sheets that I took the trouble to print out. So why?

I've disappointed u in many way... did a lot of disappointin things... since I retain I dont hab de guts to face u... till I make an achievement... whatever u did for me I know u mean good... U will never know me like u always say u know me ... neither m I blaming u... nor trying to infuritate u... just wanna get my N and O in a less stress way... I know I will make it... trust me for this once.

But I've never blamed you. I believe in the goodness of you and have always been proud to be your brother. That's why I introduced you to my friends. But the decision you make will take you through a hard life. I'd rather pay you to study for me but I know you won't like it. In any case I respect your decision. My last try is to show you the 21 pages. My frens care enough to write and so you should read it before you decide. Alright? =)

Thanks for ur concern... really thank u... Thanks for ur frenz effort and concern... No matter how hard u try... I will follow my final decision... I don mind reading ur frenz writings...please

And so it is clear.
I have to trust him.
As I typed out the dialogue I realised that I was already making assumptions.
"But the decision that you make will take you through a hard life."
What right do I have to make that statement?
What makes me think that just because I am happy from the journey that I've walked that I should force my opinions on him as well?

I stick to my statement:
We will just have to make the best of it.
And move on

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It's never easy to give advices.

Last time I am mr. nice guy and mr. always-know-what-to-do and I will give very sound advices to friends on a lot of issues. I thought I was very wise for my age and understanding.

That lasted until I got into my first relationship and failed and back to where I was. I suddenly donno how to give advice anymore because I myself is no longer sure.

Especially, when there is a very good arguement of "everyone lead different life"
I used this line too.

But then there's right and wrong in our own belief and should we impose ours on others when we "know" we r right.
I really donno... most of the time now, I keep quiet unless it's very close friends or I am very sure that I am right and serious cases like "you shouldn't murder someone for money" or "it is wrong to go for ons"

Anyway, I am sure u r doing the best for your brother and I believe u have give sound advice... all my life, I never believe that I am incapable without a cert. and all my life till I am 25 (this year) when I am near graduation, then I know the importance of a cert.
It's not too late for me as I got into LaSalle after scoring additional 2 'O' credits by taking the exams as a private candidate, 5 years after I left sec 4 express stream with 3 'O' level credit. I will say I earned my place in LaSalle unlike others who got it easy and I was also lucky so don't bet on such path like mine.

As for your bro, I was at his stage before too and we can only wish that one day he will realise how impt is academical cert. to career and oneself's growth and hope it's not too late. If u did what u could as a bro, then that's all u can do. How I wish I got an elder bro or sis to tell me off or tell me what to do then... I didn't, not even my parents (they are too iliterate to know about edu system so i don't blame them at all).

Don't be too upset la... different people really walk different paths, it's true... we can only hope the best for ourself and others. We can help but it's still limited in a way. Eventually it's their life and they call the shot, same for u being responsible for ur life. Cheer up mr. into the wild!

i guess it's a matter of appropriateness, the statement you made.

you enjoyed your journey from a choice you made. naturally, since it's an enjoyable ride, you would want to share it with someone that matters.

maybe your care came across as, forceful, strict, cornering.

his replies seem pretty stressed to me.

whee~ i'm a passerby~!!

one have to continue to move on
life journey = live & learn

hug hug ;)

Wish him all the best as he's decided and we cannot put him down.Meantime, I respect you for living up the name 'big brother'.
Cheers to you!

i am sure your bro will not fail anyone, especially for his elder caring bro. he got the determination. give him your best mental support!

Hi wildy,
Just have to believe in them and give them all the help and support that they need.I know it tough being a elder brother myself too.

I am still in the middle of my emotional bus-stop.. will get back to writing tonight.. now for a good breakfast, gym, swim and a movie!!!

Pls don't post this up, just sharing.

Sorry to open this up again, but I think it may be an ego issue.

Imagine your teacher cutting your hair and being caned in school when you’re trying to put up a cool/tough/defiant persona in front of your peers … the humiliation, embarrassment and shame one will have to handle. That may be what he’s stressful about. A hurt ego.

Guess with him wanting to get out of school is to leave it all behind, which may be good as that allows him an opportunity to ‘start afresh’.

Do encourage and more importantly, assure him of himself as a person from time to time. If possible, bring up this issue and let him to talk through it with you than to repress it further.

Good luck to the both of you :)

Hard as it may seem, you just have to let go... I'm sure he respects you a lot as a brother. Just be there for him when he needs you and like I said, always keep a watchful eye.

Wow... so touching... hugzz :)

Frankly when i'm 16..i also won't listen to what my brother if he were to tell me what to do.Its only when u try out the path that u have decided, then you will realise what ppl have told u, r actually right.Will i regret my decision? Of course i will but will i blame anyone else? Of course not, cause its a decision i've made. But one thing for sure, i will know that there is someone who is in my life that truely care for me.
Mistake its all part of growing up...if u can't prevent him from making the mistake just let him fall, with each fall a person will learn to stand up and try again.But if the fall is so deep..then its time to step in and pull him up from there.
Maybe you can make him a deal, to like within 1 year he has to accomplish certain goal and if he can't make it he will have to listen to what u say.

dude, u make me wish i had an elder brother.

Making the right decision is never easy.
I wish your brother all the best.

we all walk our many little paths..
but who's to say that we cannot be as happy walking the untrammeled fields of the wild?

Sometimes I wish I felt the same empathy and "want-to-help" (for now I don't really know what the word is) for my own brothers. Ohwells, there are things you wish you knew when you were 16... I admire your love for you brother.

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