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Dreams are what you wake up from.

14 years of Livejournalling, and hopefully, more to come.

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:: brother, part two ::

Mother rang me up again.
"Did his teacher call you up?" she inquired.
"No," I replied, "I've been waiting."
"Anyway your brother was searching for his school uniform this morning."
"Is it? That's good."
"Yeah, maybe your talk to him changed his mind."
"I hope so."
"Or maybe he realised that he's running out of money and it is not so easy to look for a job."
"Has he been trying?"
"He has been cutting out small pieces of newspaper. Apparently he's too young to be employed."
An idea got to me.
"Let's try something. I will hold his pocket money from this weekend onwards, as a good opportunity for him to feel the pinch of not having any cash to go out and spend. But I will require you and Uncle not to pass him any money. It is the school holidays next week, and we've got a week to let him feel the pinch. Perhaps he may then decide to really go back to his studies."
"I am worried that he will turn to something illegal. All the friends that he's been mixing with," she lamented.
I kept silent.
"When I talk to him, he doesn't bother to reply. He talks a little to Uncle. Since young, he has not been close to me."
I kept silent again. I knew why.
And I remembered what I used to feel.
I used to think that it was her retribution; for all the bad that she has done.
But I no longer feel that way.
There is no point to hate. Just let it all go.
It's internal.
"Let's try my idea," I stressed.
"And call me if there's anything, okay?"

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It is never wise to retract the financial strings.

More hatred will evolve under such threats and the whole thing will backfire.

The best way I suggest is to offer him a few hours a week to work (and if you can, help him to gather the employment) supportively, and in return, he has to study.

Compromising may be a better option than threat.

In anyway, all the best. Don't let family feuds thrive. There should only be love within kinship.

(Deleted comment)

i agree to this. if i had my pocket money retracted by my parents, i will leave home, even though i'm very close to my mother.

not that i'm not understanding, but threatening youngesters these days are not the way to go.

erm, much thanks for the comments.
it was never meant to be a threat. threats do not work.
it is more of a sort of an agreement that we've made years ago: if he did well (which he once did) he would be rewarded with things like a computer (which i did get for him) and mp3 players.

and should the day comes when he decide to leave school to become independent, he will have to learn to be independent.


Looks like things are turning for the better.
Play your card well, it's a good chance to win him over.
Temper it with compassion and empathy. ;)

it shows when you are unhappy at something..
and making others feel guilty is really not your strong suit... nor the one you should play.

gd idea...
....hopefully he'll understand why people who cares for him are doing all these...
hope things are ok? :)

hello there! i have lots of younger cousins. e best way to work w younger pple will be to really spend some time n walk into their works, understand them and speak to them on a one to one basis. ~ my 2cents worth. hope it helps. :)

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