February 2nd, 2010

Crazy

:: Chapters ::


:: Chapters ::

I've been wanting to blog.
But there were simply too many things to do.
Hence I procrastinated.
I am glad that I am doing a little journaling now.
I remember those nights of yesteryear
When I would sit by my Imac.
I would ponder over certain events.
I would wonder if I would be able to clearly articulate
What I was wondering about.
I would then think of what kind of effect
I would have on those who read it.
What if I miscommunicated, misinformed, then disrespected?
The pen is mightier than the sword, so they say.
I always think that words should be handled with care.
The result of this rumination were abstruse entries.
Entries that were probably comprehensible to a few.
A few who were familiar with the context or the background.
Or a few who bothered to make some constructive guesses.
Having blogged since 2000, I have already blogged for a decade.
I penned my first entry in Livejournal in Nov 2000.
This was before blogging became a fad.
I have made many friends from LJ.
I have also seen many LJers come and go.
I know of many who gave up blogging, but lingered.
They prefer to read.
And so I continue to blog.
I continue to muse.
I continue to ramble.
I was doing some housekeeping just the night before.
I decided to tidy up my iPhoto
And the 45,844 photos in the collection.
There were some duplicates and I wanted to remove them.
Someone should create a program just to remove duplicate photos.
In iPhoto; and duplicate songs in iTunes.
Going through old pictures, I realize a few things.
I realized that I have aged.
My friends have aged as well. 
I noted that certain groups and cliques continue to exist.
While others have disbanded and people went on their ways.
I also noticed the friends that continue to be
Featured in my photos over the years.
They persisted, strangely, as a result
Of not choice, but fate and destiny?
Or maybe we all made choices to stick together.
I have not been a good friend to some, I felt.
I could have done more.
And then I saw the photos of my past romances.
And I realized the few cycles it took
For me to know what I really wanted.
Quietly, I hoped the best for all of them.
Occasionally, when I am doing the most mundane things.
Like ironing. I will think about the past.
And all the things that happened - good and bad.
And wonder if they all happened for a reason.
If I were given a chance to go back to the past;
Knowing the current state and situation that I am in - Would I go back?
I would think not.
I think choices, and non-choices,
Shape the human adaptability.
With grit and positive determination,
There is never a bad ending.
Sometimes challenges are just thrown in our direction.
To force us to grow.
To make us go through Hell in order to treasure.
And appreciate, Heaven.
It is a fortnight to the Chinese New Year.
Since I will be away this festive season,
I am thinking of which good book I should read.
During the trip.
Reading is a luxury these days.
And I have a fifty-dollar voucher.
From Kinokuniya.
From B, during our anniversary luncheon last April.
I wonder what I would get.