Nevertheless, the three of us agreed that livejournaling should be first and foremost, an internal-to-external process. When I write, I write for myself, to share my views and feelings and whatever that goes through inside me, bearing in mind the kind of scrutiny that I am subjecting myself to. I've seen Ljers who sucuumbed to the stress of being judged and hence rendered their ljs friends-only. On the other end of the spectrum I can also see Ljers whose journals become vessels in seeking response and comments from the viewers. While there is obviously no right or wrong in how online journals should be written, it is interesting to observe the myriad of writing styles.
Called home a few nights ago and spoke to Brenden. He skipped school last friday and got everyone in the family worried. I eventually managed to get him at night, and gently confronted him on his misaction. He apologised on his behaviour and promised not to do it again. This is not the first time that he has broken his promise. More importantly, he shared something really personal to me; he revealed to me why he has been avoiding me for the past few weekends. Ever since his mathematics teacher called me up to apprise me of Bren's lack of interest in mathematics (as well as the bad company he's been hanging out with) he has been finding trouble facing me physically. Perhaps my approval of his actions, his very existence mattered to him more than what I thought. I knew not what to say, at that point in time, but I think I know now. I do not need a genius for a younger brother; I just want him to be a good person. I'm prepared to let him stop school, but I fear that he does not know what he does not know, and like my sis he will eventually regret his lack of foresight. Guess I need to go easy on him and nuture him with the necessary attention and patience.
It's not easy being a good big brother, but his future lies in my hands, or at least I choose to see it this way. Let's hope the best is yet to be after all.