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Dreams are what you wake up from.

14 years of Livejournalling, and hopefully, more to come.

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I feel weak. Inept.
There's always this sense of failure that looms.
It's the same problem of "I'm not good enough", "Why can't I be better", so on and so forth.
It's an self-imposed punishment. Yet I don't think it's a mental condition. My parents have never asked more than what I could give.
Maybe it's the inner self, that pushes me and urges me on.
Then again, maybe I've never accepted myself for what I really am.
It's the DISCIPLINE word. I feel a need to push myself further, to work harder, train to be fitter, to reach that illusionary epitome that never exists. In introspection, it can be scary. Very scary. It works like a drug. It gets harder and harder to reach a higher level. And perhaps one day I will fall.

And then again, it's all in the matter of the mind.
Life goes on. A minute later and all would be forgotten, on the conscious level anyway.
But I'm perturbed by the fact that I could think that I have never accepted myself.

Must be the champagne.


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Dark thoughts and cheery bubbly makes for strange bedfellows.
Steady each step you climb, then you won't fall.

Hey fren, I'm a lot further down the ladder than you. That's one cushion-person.

BTW, dun look so high up the only thing u can see is the sky. Its a lot easier to fall that way.


scary how familiar 'the push' sounds.

hmmm..remember telling someone not long ago to lighten up...hmmm

it's like a relationship: there will always be someone cuter, hunkier, nicer, kinder, richer, smarter, luckier...(ok, now I'm depressed!)

what matters is whether you're happy being where you are, and with who you are. lots of people out there do not have your looks or body (including me *hiaks*) but they're having the time of their life.

It's been a decade. Time to take a gamble :)

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