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Crazy

into_the_wild

Dreams are what you wake up from.

14 years of Livejournalling, and hopefully, more to come.


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Crazy
into_the_wild

It's been a while

It's been a while.
A week has passed, and I'm glad to say I'm adapting well and adapting fast. The weather could have been warmer; it's Springtime but it's cold here! Nevertheless it reminded me of the first few days of my University initiation in Japan. The cherry blossoms, and culture shock, and the climate, the cold-yet-not-too-cold kind of feeling. I should have brought myself a jacket though. Nigel said that T-shirts were enough, and gullible me feel that that. Just forked out £20 for a Tommy Hilfig denim jacket that was comparable to what I would fork for back in Singapore. I mean, the standard of living is atrocious! I just had my lunch: a paltry BLT sandwich and a 125ml packet of Ribena for £3. That works out easily to be almost $10. Eek!

At least I got to travel. And drive. A couple of us managed to rivet ourselves together at the last minute and rented a VW Polo. Being the only person who was familiar with a right-hand-drive manual, I was designated the official driver for the weekend. I have to admit that VW is good. (maybe I should settle for a Passat for my next car!).

The drive was scenic; there were pastures of green everywhere, and bright yellow fields of flowers. (margarine, anyone?) The winding roads was a major headache though. Nevertheless, we visited enough sites over the weekend to make us contented tourists. Stonehenge was a major letdown. It was small and ungainly as compared to the splendid postcard pictures that I was so familiar with. Nevertheless, like a true-blue Singaporean, I rushed to the site and snapped enough photos to add it to my "been-there, done-that" list.

Oh well oh well.

The nights were cold and lonely. (there was SkyTV to keep my entertained though). I wasn't used to being in a room with no internet access. Suffering from slight cold-turkey, I tried Heros of M&M as well as Tropico, but the mind wanders. It wanders off to a familiar place called loneliness. Together with her friends, retrospection and introspection.

There was much time for thinking. As much as I tried to deviate from serious thought it would descend upon me. I would think about life and all about it: about love, about the future, about permanence and reality. About how much to give and whether there's such a thing as giving without the desire for any reciprocation. Is that possible?

The funny thing is that, the familiar questions raised only served to confused me even further. There are no answers, only more confusion and that lingering feeling.

That lingering feeling.

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Hey, was asking for ya today. You aint thinking differently from me although miles apart, man...my thoughts tread along yours...Take care wee wee!

1. We obviously share the same passion with VW. I'm driving a Golf now. Very happy with it. And yes, Passat will be my next car (if the Beemer doesn't entice me that is!)

2. I'll be in London in late June - early July. If you're still there, we could meet up! BTW, I'll be putting up in Kensington.

I'd be back mid-june. =)

Why's loneliness (her)?

Sometimes thoughts tend to beat the long way round the bush and come right back to the same place.

Hav fun yea

Social Psychology...

From what i read (coincidentally with what i believed)-

It is always superficially possible to 'say' and 'feel' you can love without reciprocation.

However, all kinds of affection and love comes from some basic desires

1. Need to reproduce (aka lust)
2. Need to maintain Companionships (Relational Maintainence)
3. Need for Self-Worth (liking somebody , doing good things might in return gain acceptance from the other party who will love you more - hence raise your self-esteem , ego , etc.)
4. Need to Self-Concept (I do things without reciprocation - i am not a selfish person - therefore i am doing it and i don't expect anything. In actuality - you're doing it to prove to yourself and others you are so ... a rather deliberate move)

I guess there's a couple more - still , none of them will ever be explicitly felt til you're very intouch and can accept the inhumanity of being human.

Re: Social Psychology...

I like what you wrote. It makes a lot of sense.
I wonder which category I belong to. Perhaps a collage of many?

I guess anything that's so unpredictable such as in arenas of love.... There's never an answer....

There's never an answer, so we go on in our journeys seeking one.
Not wrong, but not necessarily right either.

This is vague!

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